One thing I think the people in your life would want is for you to be happy! Think about how you are feeling, are you depressed? A lack of motivation is very common in depression. I am depressed and some days I can barely get up in the mornings to go to work. I understand where you are coming from. Did you go straight from high school to college? I did, and I ended up not taking it super seriously because honestly I wasn’t ready for all that, a four year and potentially life commitment to something. Not yet!
You sound very smart. So it is certainly not a matter of school being too hard. You could possibly be in the need for self discovery, maybe traveling and finding yourself. Finding what it is that motivates you to get up in the morning and succeed in school. I wouldn’t be too ashamed, your family loves you and they want what is best for you. Tell them about the lack of drive, I know money can sometimes be an anxiety factor but its better now then never to tell them.
Maybe find out some answers cynically, depression is not a choice! My therapist told me “if you can acknowledge you are not getting things done that you would like to get done, you are not lazy you are depressed. Lazy people don’t know they are lazy.”
That resonated with me because you want to do more and you feel awful but you feel like you physically can’t and I am so sorry. I know that feeling, to feel like you are your own barrier.
I wish you good luck talking to the people in your life, at worst they could possibly be mad at first but in the long run they will understand. We can only do the best we can with the cards we are dealt.
I am certainly here for you!
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