Today was such a waste of makeup.
One thing I think the people in your life would want is for you to be happy! Think about how you are feeling, are you depressed? A lack of motivation is very common in depression. I am depressed and some days I can barely get up in the mornings to go to work. I understand where you are coming from. Did you go straight from high school to college? I did, and I ended up not taking it super seriously because honestly I wasn’t ready for all that, a four year and potentially life commitment to something. Not yet!
You sound very smart. So it is certainly not a matter of school being too hard. You could possibly be in the need for self discovery, maybe traveling and finding yourself. Finding what it is that motivates you to get up in the morning and succeed in school. I wouldn’t be too ashamed, your family loves you and they want what is best for you. Tell them about the lack of drive, I know money can sometimes be an anxiety factor but its better now then never to tell them.
Maybe find out some answers cynically, depression is not a choice! My therapist told me “if you can acknowledge you are not getting things done that you would like to get done, you are not lazy you are depressed. Lazy people don’t know they are lazy.”
That resonated with me because you want to do more and you feel awful but you feel like you physically can’t and I am so sorry. I know that feeling, to feel like you are your own barrier.
I wish you good luck talking to the people in your life, at worst they could possibly be mad at first but in the long run they will understand. We can only do the best we can with the cards we are dealt.
I am certainly here for you!
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Aw sweetheart! I feel for you, it took me a long to time to have a serious boyfriend who was just as serious about me. I am now 21 too! I wanted to be inlove SOOOO badly a year ago to the point where I was giving just terrible guys a chance! I would never recommend that. After all that drama I finally met a fantastic guy.
We actually met on okcupid, which used to always make me feel embarrassed. It still kinda does, but I figure where else was I suppose to meet this really shy sweet guy? A lot of times these are people who don’t want to hang around the club/bar scene to meet people. If it weren’t for the internet these introverted people would have a hard time meeting anyone.I would recommend giving this a chance, certainly people do it! I have several friends who were embarrassed to tell me that was how they met their significant other. As well as at work, one girl even met her boyfriend on Myspace years back! Hahaa..Tons of people do it, the stigma is quickly going away because the internet is something we all use so frequently.
The only advice I would give is try to be straight forward about who you are and what you are looking for because that will attract other like minded people. . steer clear from Tinder, I hear people are not looking for meaningful relationships there.
Another way is certainly meeting people through classes, jobs and volunteering. This also is a way to find like minded people. Maybe write a list of all the things you love, and then try to get involved in those things. For example I tried for a long time to find a job with kids, and when I finally found one there were people my age who loved kids, and then that becomes your circle of people. Also look up some volunteer programs for sure.
Certainly don’t feel worried that you haven’t been in a bunch of relationships yet! Honestly I think all those stupid high school relationships messed up my understanding of a healthy “good” relationship. What is nice about your situation is you are going to your future relationship with a clear emotional canvas, with no yucky high school/ middle school drama to fill your heart and head.
Don’t feel old my dear! I’m sure during this time you have been through a lot of self discovery and thoughtfulness that in the future will actually make your future relationships stronger!
Remember there is no rush, your heart is a precious thing.
Do things you love, do what it takes to make you really happy and I hear this attracts a lot of good energy!
Hang in there dear!
First advice question answered
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